Waiting For Change
A lot of behind the scenes magic is happening. It’s the sort of magic that has me smiling on the outside while I’m meticulously sorting through all of our earthly belongings and breaking out in hives from the stress. Sounds fun, right?!
Welcome to military life! We are waiting for the news of where we will be moving this summer, June 2022, but unlike our 8 moves up to this point, we are free floating. In all of our previous moves, Matt has been picked for positions that were exciting to him and truly an honor. He’s had a respected friend who was looking out for him in each case so I’ve always felt a safety net, no surprises. Matt has enjoyed his work, loved the people he’s worked with, and I’ve felt that we were being guided to where our family really needed to be for our own growth and to love and serve others around us.
But this move, is very different. You can retire from the military after 20 years with full pension and benefits, and at 18 years, we’re almost there! This coming assignment could be our last one, and then…well, then what? We don’t know (and that’s part of my/our stress and the hives I am sure).
Some of our peers have bought land and have had their personal end game in mind all along. We have not. We don’t necessarily want to return to where we grew up in Utah, except that we would love living close to our parents. The problem is there aren’t many, or any jobs, in the professions that Matt is so uniquely qualified for, so there’s that.
Back to this move — Our dream assignment to Cambridge came available last year and Matt was the guy for the job. But it would take him away from the main needs of his field in the military. After a few months, his career field manager said they would absolutely not release him for the position. I was sad, but it was early days to be too worried about where we would move next.
Then another European assignment came available and the Colonel in charge of the position, who was a friend of Matt’s, reached out to ask if Matt would want the job. Many military families do not want overseas assignments, so it’s always a question that comes up to take into consideration the wishes of the spouse and family. We, on the other hand would love the chance at another overseas assignment! We love the adventure and opportunity! We enthusiastically said yes to the position and felt confident this was it!
We started planning. I’ve been looking at houses to rent, finding out how to move with our dog and trying to remember all the intricacies of utilities and banking and schools and everything every-day-life in another country. Then just a couple weeks ago, we found out the position we were planning on was not going to work out. I was sad, then mad, then sad.
It’s late in the assignments cycle to be a ‘free agent’ as far as knowing where we are going next. Most jobs have been assigned and claimed, so we have felt a major lack of control which doesn’t feel good when you already have sacrificed so much for this military life.
We are waiting for change now, as patiently as humanly possible. We share optimistically with our kids and plan for the best, hoping that another overseas assignment will work out. The knowledge that wins the day in the waiting is knowing that God knows and I trust Him. I know I can be happy wherever we go because I am committed to choosing to be happy, to look for the best, to feel deeply rooted in purpose beyond what my own desires are. It doesn’t come easy but it’s worth it.
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”
