The Secret to Good Days
It’s in the bookends. Let me explain.
You know about gratitude journals, and goals, and optimism and being a glass-half-full type of person, but that doesn’t mean all your days have transformed to good ones yet, right?! Most days you’re probably just coasting through, surviving, getting by, looking forward to the next happy thing/event/vacation. Some days are scarred with tragedy, heartbreak, huge mistakes. Some days are celebratory, amazing life events with family and friends—the ones you take photos of and go back to with fond memories. But most…most days are the usual, nothing-out-of-the-ordinary days.
So, think with me for a minute about what your consistent daily actions are. Maybe it’s brushing your teeth first thing in the morning, going for a run, making the same kind of tea or coffee you’ve relied on for years. Maybe you’re consistently making school lunches and brushing your kids’ teeth, walking the dog, taking out the trash. Reality is, most of our days are on repeat. We consistently get up and get through our busy schedules, taking care of those who need us, and climbing back into bed to start it all over again.
What are bookends, and what’s the secret in them then? Bookends are what you do to start AND what you do to end your days. Before I go any further, I want you to think about the purpose of bookends. They hold up and support what is between them. They can be fancy and beautiful, or simple and functional, but the important part is the holding up of what’s in between. Think for a minute what your bookends are—how do you start your days, what routines do you consistently stick to? How do you end your days? Do you start and end your day with intention or are you missing a bookend entirely?
My morning bookend is usually strong. I’ve been a morning person forever and have known for a long time the power of choosing to get up early with a specific routine to start my day. For me it is prayer/meditation, exercise, journaling, setting intentions. It has become something I cling to more and more to create the mental state I want to dwell in through my days. It makes a difference.
But, my evening bookend? It’s just too tired to think or be intentional about anything. It is washing my face, quickly brushing my teeth and sinking into bed exhausted. Not much intention. Not much connecting with what happened in my day, how I truly feel and how I want to improve the next day.
My bookends are lopsided which means the contents of my day are not very supported and held up. I can do better. I bet you’re feeling you can, too. The best thing you and I can do is respect the fact that the tired, just-want-to-fall-into-bed feeling isn’t going to go away, and plan a routine before the comatose stage sets in.
I have so many skin clients who often share with me that they struggle to wash and treat their face at the end of the day because they are too tired and forget. The easy solution I have shared with them is to place their products somewhere they will see them and set an alarm on their phone for earlier in the evening, like 8pm, or right when they come in the door at night.
When you think about your evening “bookend”, plan to be intentional and set an alarm, just as you would with getting up in the morning. You may have to excuse yourself from your family for 5-10 minutes to add this bit of self care into your life, but I promise it will make a difference.
Here are three things to incorporate into your evening bookend:
BREATHING. There’s no secret to the benefits of intentional breathing exercises. Our modern life has evolved way faster than our bodies have been able to catch up with. At the end of the day, when the accumulation of stress is palpable, the best thing you can do, before anything else, is turn of your body’s fight-or-flight response. Slow, measured, deep breaths will physically reset your body and mind. Breath in for 4 counts, hold for 7 counts, and release for 8 counts and repeat 3 times to completely reset and release. Try it! I promise you’ll feel a marked difference.
Write down 3 positive things from your day and 1 thing you want to find a solution for—something that you’re wondering about how to improve. Writing it down forms a more permanent neural pathway within the brain that your subconscious brain will get to work to solve. Writing down the positives first will help you see and feel the good that is happening in the midst of commotion.
Spend time in prayer or meditation. This pause yields long term physical and mental benefits. Find a way that works for you. Some of my friends have shared that this works best for them when they are writing down all the thoughts that come to them. Some form words and thoughts in their minds, and some speak vocally. Do what feels natural to you, and if nothing does…keep at it! Nothing is 100% comfortable and skilled the first time we do it. Let yourself explore and learn as you go, just do it!
Other elements you could incorporate to your evening bookend are essential oils, a short walk, practice yoga for 15 minutes, a facial treatment, hand massage and stretching. Just make it intentional.
Maybe you’re well ahead of me with an evening routine! Tell me what your morning and evening bookends look like! I’d love to get to know you better and learn from you.
xoxo,
Dayna
