Invasion. Crisis. Moving. War.
We’ve been busy with so many check lists and forms and appointments to move overseas and I anticipated a happy post about our excitement and interesting behind-the-scenes details, but here we are. February 24, 2022.
Yesterday, Russia attacked Ukraine.
We’ve checked on friends, looked into refugee preparations, and our prayers are more thoughtful and present.
I’ve been noting the carefully used words in the press and from journalists to describe what is happening and “war” is not a word we are hearing right now, but we all know what this “invasion” or “operation” really is. It feels horrifying.
My whole life has been filled with school assignments, lectures, and book clubs all reading and talking and discussing the nightmare of atrocities and tragedies of WWII. We often say, “I can’t imagine…” followed by circumstances that are well beyond the comfort of our own. But, the reality is that we can imagine it and that is why it feels so scary. My heart aches for families, for women, for children. The whole world is moving in prayer and desire to help the helpless, and yet we also feel helpless to do so. Our hearts and arms are opened wide but the distance is so far for us.
But not for God.
So this happy news that we are moving to Germany is also weighed down with some sobering realities. It is this beautiful, fairy-tale place that is all too close to the fear and realities of war, and we are moving our family there… I trust that God knows where we are needed and I trust enough to be brave.
And while we certainly have a lot on our plate in preparing to go and facing that reality, life carries on here with normal school days, and friends, and work days, and grocery pickups. It’s the normal with a quickening undercurrent of not normal.
A couple things my life has given me so far in the perspective department are this:
I love this verse, “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.” (Isaiah 41:10) I used to think nothing bad would happen if my faith was strong enough, but now I think differently. I think my faith is stronger when bad things are happening because I can see more clearly how God is with me through it. Upholding me is a serious thing and I feel it.
When I feel weighed down in feeling helpless and all the sadness in the world, there is peace in turning away from the constant distractions, and intentionally seeking to “feel above me the day”.
When despair for the world grows in me
and I wake in the night at the least sound
in fear of what my life and my children’s lives may be,
I go and lie down where the wood drake
rests in his beauty on the water, and the great heron feeds.
I come into the peace of wild things
who do not tax their lives with forethought
of grief. I come into the presence of still water.
And I feel above me the day-blind stars
waiting with their light. For a time
I rest in the grace of the world, and am free.
“The Peace of Wild Things”
by Wendell Berry
So as I watch closely what is happening, I’ll also be not consumed with it. I will seek peace and commit to seeing the help and upholding that is happening, too. And I’ll document our move. I didn’t document or share when we last moved overseas to England, and it’s something I’ve always regretted. So this is me resolving to do better and having a shared experience to look back on with you.
As I write this, this blog is unpublished and who knows if I will ever push that button to share publicly. I’m not sure but I am sincere. We will see where this goes!
x
Dayna
