5 Ways to Love Where You Live
I know what you’re thinking. Your current house is not your dream house, or you think your town is boring. You might say, “This isn’t my taste. I don’t have the budget. There’s nothing to do. There’s nothing special here. I’ve lived here all my life.” Sound familiar?
One of the pitfalls of living in the same place for a long time is that you can fall into the same routines that become stagnant and unexciting to you.
But here I am, telling you — inviting you! — to shift your perspective, and maybe use some Saturdays, so that you can start loving where you live.
I know, I know. I live in Germany now, which is admittedly easy to feel excited about. Its a whole new world to explore. But I could also get pretty down about our sterile military apartment we are required to live in. I’ve lived in some amazing places all around the world, and also some small towns that no one wants to live in. I’ve had rental homes with worn out carpet and dingy walls, and even one house that had colanders for light fixtures and a hole kicked into the hollow bathroom door. (It wasn’t pretty but it was what was available when we moved there.)
The military life has forced me to live in and to view my life differently and has given me strengths in creating happiness and joy no matter what our surroundings have been like, so I want to share some of those secrets with you.
Here are 5 ways to love where you live:
KNOW THIS: Your current house does not define you. I grew up in an old home that needed lots of renovation. My parents had great taste and dreams of making it a cottage pulled straight from the Cotwolds in England. So I was constantly thumbing through the paint and fabric swatches and seeing what the designers were mocking up for my mom to choose from, and seeing my dad put in the hard work to learn carpentry and landscape design. Our house was almost always under construction in some way and I loved it! I loved seeing a space transform into something beautiful and calling it home. And then I married and we started life in the military which meant constantly moving and living in rentals. Honestly, I openly cried with the first base house we were assigned and it’s been a process ever since to learn that my physical surroundings are NOT the most important thing and that I can create beauty and home no matter what our physical house looks like. The world puts so much emphasis on remodeling and redecorating the physical structure of a home to look like the pages of a magazine, when it’s what happens inside a home, in our relationships, that actually matters the most. I look back on the last 18 years of white walls, bad floor plans, old carpet, mold 😵💫, cracked windows, and even the fluorescent blue laminate countertops and feel grateful for what it teaches me. I hope you know, your house does not define you or the happiness and love you can feel in a place.
Think like a tourist or a visitor. If you were hosting an outsider for a day or two or three, what things would you do? What places would you take them to? Are there any plays or art galleries or special events going on? What about a new hiking trail? What is the history of where you live? —any cool stories? Have you ever looked up the historical markers local to you? Luckily, our parents have always wanted to come visit us at least once no matter where we lived so that they could see the grandkids, and us. In each place, I have had to dive in to the local community to find the cool parks and events, hikes and museums that we would want to do with them when there are visiting. This motivation puts me on a path of discovery the whole time we live in a place. It gives us purpose to our Saturdays to get out and discover and to make plans so that when we do have visitors, we are great hosts. It also really helps us find our own groove in a place.
Try new places to eat. I bet if you think about it right now, you probably have just a handful of places you like to go out to eat, and you probably eat the same thing on the menu at each of those places every time, right? We are all creatures of habit and comfort. A great way to fall in love with where you live is to make a plan to intentionally try new places to eat. I learned this from my friend Angela. When she moved to our city she created a list of ALL the places to eat in a town and methodically went out to each one to try their best dish and decide what her favorites are, and let me tell you, she is the funnest friend to eat out with and to ask where to go for a great meal! She leaned into discovery and learned for sure what she loved and what was less than noteworthy, and had fun doing it. And I enjoyed all the times she invited me along!
Switch up your regular hang outs. I’m guessing you have some hobbies you’ve been doing for a long time and you probably go the the same stores for supplies or for events, right? Make a plan to visit some of the other stores and places in your town that you haven’t been to. You may not like them at all, but you also may find some you love and a whole new community you never knew you needed in your life. For example, I’ve typically gone to big box stores for sporting equipment for my kids, but decided one Saturday to go to a locally owned store just to see what they had. I so enjoyed the owner and his staff and the care they gave us that it became a favorite place to stop in, even just to say hi. Switching up your regular hang outs also means trying new hobbies or events that you may have not done before. A great way to do this is to Google things happening in your local community or the local arts scene and commit to trying or attending something new each month. Local universities and colleges are great to plug into because there are always events happening for the communities in the arts, theaters and music. Call it your discovery or adventure date. The great thing is that there is no pressure to like it, because after all, you’re just a visitor, right? When you’re thinking like a tourist or a visitor (see #1), it takes the pressure off of commitment. Being open to experiencing something new is what loving where you live is all about.
Ask for recommendations. Each time we move there is a laundry list of questions I have to ask a local just so that we can get settled. ie. What are the utility companies? What school district are we in? What day is trash pick up? How does mail pick up work here? I need a dentist I can trust, and a hair stylist, and an eye doctor, a pharmacy… it’s a lot. What I’ve noticed is that people love to share their favorites and that every person will have a different opinion. It’s really helpful to have that variety of answers to explore yourself and find your preference. If you’ve lived in the same place forever, you have probably been in all the same routines for a long time now and it’s actually really fun to ask for recommendations like you’re a new person. Now, I know you’re probably not looking for big changes like new schools or doctors, but ask your friends and neighbors what some of their favorite places and activities are in your town. Ask who they go with for their utilities (if you’re in a place with options) or their mobile phones. You might find better services you never knew existed, and you will probably be surprised to learn about places and events that are new to you. And now you’ll have the expertise of someone close to help you.
These are just a few ideas to get you thinking and moving towards falling in love with where you live, no matter where you live. You and I both know that true love is an action, not just a feeling, so don’t hesitate to be intentionally engaged in discovering and experiencing where you live in new ways. Write down your own recommendations and share what you learn. I have a hunch you’ll find new hobbies and love how you are connecting with new people in new ways.
Love,
Dayna
